Monday, January 14th, 2008 Finally have internet So, it has been a little while since I have been able to update my blog. I hope that no one is too upset with me. I finally have full time internet at my apartment. Woo Hoo. It has been a little hectic since getting into Vegas. I have been playing catch up with friends and family for my time in New York. The comedy scene here in Vegas is actually pretty sad. Only a few big clubs and no underground scene to speak of. An old friend and I are working on getting a couple of things produced but because there isn't much I am going to be heading out on the road again. I am booked in Grand Junction, CO on March 1st and expect to just keep it going from there. I will try to keep everyone in the loop as I get more things lined up. Talk to all of you soon. Thanks for being a fan. Saturday, November 17th, 2007 My last day in NYC Well, the day has come. I leave tomorrow morning for the long and dangerous drive across the country to the desert meca of Las Vegas, NV. The Explorer is packed and I am finally feeling a little aprehensive about the move. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be with my wife again but I am walking away from some good things here in NYC as well. I have made some great friends, have grown by leaps and bounds in my comedy and have been working pretty steady for the last two years. I am scared that I won't be able to continue my growth and the pursuit of my dream after the move is done. There are moments in all of our lives when we come to a crossroads and we are forced to choose a path. Sometimes the choice is obvious other times both options look like the choice that will bring you happiness but which is the better choice. It's kinda like voting. No matter which one you choose, nothing that was promised will come true. I have been told time and time again that "I can't believe that you're a comedian" that I'm too serious to be "funny". And even though I prove that I am a steller comidian on stage night after night, I'm starting to see what these people were thinking. But, as I am always telling my wife, "don't just look at the bad" I am going to listen to my own advise. Here are all of the good things that will or could come from the move to Vegas. First of all, I get to live with my wife again and hopefully we can get our relationship back to what it used to be. Second, on the trip back I get to see an old childhood friend that I haven't seen in 13 years. Even if only for an evening it will be nice to catch up. Third, I will be close to my nieces and nephew again. I haven't really been able to spoild them like I used to and it has truly been a real downer for me. And finally, a new break may come for me in the comedy field. Maybe all I have needed to take that leap forward was a change of scenery. I guess we will have to wait and see. Good things don't come to those who don't hunt them down. I will talk to you as soon as I get to Vegas. Remember to call your local comedy club and tell them that you want to see Mike Milton perform. Help me fullfil my dreams. It will give you that warm fuzzy feeling. And we all like that. Talk to you in 3 days. Friday, November 9th, 2007 I don't want to hear it. Alright, so my idea of being diligent may not be the same as everyone else but so what. Alot has happened in the "short" time since I last wrote to you. The biggest thing to happen is the fact that the time has come for me to move yet again. This time it is to Vegas. I am both excited and bummed about this move. First, I am excited because I get to live with my wife for the first time in almost 2 years. This I'm sure will help make us both much happier people. Second, I'm a little bummed because NYC has grown on me over the last almost 4 years. Maybe I will come back, maybe I won't but I can say that I lived in NYC and hell I actually made it here. I guess that means I can make it anywhere. HA!! Sometimes I can be a little corny. I am obviously leaving my day job here in NY which is a real downer. They are a great group of people and I will miss all of them very much. It's just too bad that I'm not leaving the job to do comedy full time. That to me is the only "good" reason to leave a job that you like. Oh, well. The good news for all of you is the with this move I know that the wife wil make sure that I keep up with my blog entries and that can only be a good thing. Another good thing about moving to Vegas is that a fellow comedian that lives in Vegas has just gotten a hosting job that the new club at the Palace Station called LA Comedy Club. She is not only an amazing lady, she is funny as hell. You should check her out.(www.nancyryan.net) Alright, I have been rambing on for too long. I will talk to you soon. Saturday, July 14th, 2007 Holy Shit!!! So, I can't even beging to express just how lazy I have been for the last..well 3 months it looks like. There has been a lot going on (just not with comedy). I am happy to be back in action though with my upcoming show on August 2nd in New Brunswick. I am also working with Paulie Confusion (another great comic) on getting some more stage time in NYC. The new job is still going well. I am traveling a lot with it but at least I'm getting the extra cash. Since I have refocused myself, I will be more diligant about positing to my blog as well as updating the website. I have been filming alot lately and will have a new page to show some of the short films that I have done. I hope you all enjoy our times together as much as I do. Talk to you next time. Mike Sunday, March 25th, 2007 Another Movie Review: TMNT For all of you kids at heart like myself, you will remember the little cartoon about four teenage turtles that were transformed into deadly ninjas by a rat and fought crime in the streets of New York City while devouring tons of pizza. Well, they have been brought back to life on the big screen, this time in CGI. And...it looks AWESOME!! The style and details of the animation were some of the best I have seen and are right up there with Final Fantasy. That being said, I am an old school fan of the turtles and felt that they did a little too much story telling. I wanted to see the cartoon I remember, four ninja turtles kicking some bad guy ass. There were some great fight scenes but they spent a good amount of time developing the back story (about half of the movie). Overall, I enjoyed the movie (and laughed my ass off at the preview for the new live action version of Under Dog). I am looking forward to the next movie because they shouldn't have to set up all that back story and they are going to bring back everyones favorite villian. The Shredder. I give it 8.5 out of 10 Saturday, Mar 3rd, 2007 Again with the slacking I would again like to appologize to everyone for the delay in getting to a new blog entry. Life has been a little bit busy. I have seen a couple of movies since my last entry and I will get to the reviews of "The Number 23" and of "Hannibal" shortly, but today I want to talk about FameCast. As I'm sure some of you already know, I entered a talent comtest online a short while ago. This is like the online version of American Idol for comedy. You have to get vote each round to move to the next round and the top 5 contestants at the end get a trip to TX to perform live and have the chance at winning some money. And we all love money. I have been whoring myself out for the last month or so for the contest and will be moving on to round 3 (Top 25) and for that I am very excited. But, the compition is strong and I need to really whore it all in order to make sure I get a spot in the Top 5. The next round (for a spot in the Top 10) starts Saturday, March 10th @ 9:00pm est. If anyone out there who reads this hasn't voted in past rounds please do so in the upcomming rounds. All you have to do is go to www.famecast.com, sign up with an email address, go to Stage 6 (Comedy) and find my video (a new one each week) then click on the vote button next to the video. It's that easy and everyone who vote will be able to say "I knew him when..." Thank you to all of my readers and fans out there and I promise I will get back to the funny as soon as you help me win this contest. Thanks Mike Saturday, Jan 27th, 2007 Pan's Labyranth Hello again. Here is my second movie review. I went to see Pan's Labyranth. The first thing that I think a trailer for a movie should say is whether or not said movie is in english. I know this might seem like an obvious thing but apparently the movie company does not agree. That being said, Pan's Labyranth is a story of a young girl, living in Spaid during the civil war. Her mother has become engaged to an evil General in the Spanish army and they have moved to be with him in the hills. The young girl, Pan, has a very active immagination and begins to live in a world of her own. The story is well put together and the special effects are wonderful. The director does a beutiful job of switching between the real world and the world of Pan's mind. This is a very dark film that has a very sad ending but is worth seeing. Even if you have to read the subtitles, the movie is both moving and disturbing and the same time. I give it 8 out of 10 Thursday, Jan 11th, 2007 Contests So, even though I HATE comedy contests I have entered another one. It's called FameCast (just click on the link below). I hate comedy contest because they are never judged on the quality of the comic but rather the number of people said comic knows and can get to cheer for him/her (or in this case vote online). So even though I hate them I entered this one for two reasons. The first is that hopefully I will get my comedy seen by a few other people and the second is for the prize money. I've never denied the fact that I am a money grubbing whore. I do want to at lease make it to the final 5 so I am going to be whoring myself out online for the next month and a half. On myspace, via email and on my website. So please check them all out, vote for me on FameCast starting Saturday January 27th, 2007 @ 9:00pm. You can vote once each day for the week of each round and then you'll get the chance to come back for the next round and vote each day again. I hope to see some of you in Texas. The rest just have to live vicariously through the blog. Thanks Friday, Jan 5th, 2007 Movie Review So, I watch alot of movies and I am also very opnionated so I thought that I would start to review some movies for all of my faithful fans out there. The first movie that I would like to review was one that I saw over New Years weekend. Children of Men. Now, the movie was a little slow to start but the story line was put out there right up front so you at least knew what was going on. The gritty film look and the dark shoot really fit into the feel of the movie. The story is based in the future where it has been nearly 20 years since a child has been born on earth and because of that fact there is a lot of fighting (which of course makes perfect sence). Theador Faron (played by Clive Owen) is a former activist who gets dragged into a plot to save a girl who is miraculously pregent. He then finds out that the group that is helping the girl actually killed the main women that was working with the Human Project to save the girl and want to use her to push the revolution foward. Theadore desides to save the girl himself and takes her away on his own. After much death and mayham he is able to get the girl in a row boat out to sea in order for her to meet the boat for the human project with the baby whom she gave birth to during this frightful trip. There were some holes in the story but nothing that couldn't be overlooked so all in all this was a good movie. Execept for the ending. This as to be one of the worst endings that I have ever seen for a movie. The was absolutely no closer and it wasn't even done to set up a sequal (which this kind of story should not have one any way). I give it 7 out of 10 Wednesday, Dec 20th, 2006 Phoenix, AZ Alright, so I make this trip all the way out to Phoenix, AZ for a show. I was told that the show usually draws a crowd of 150 to 200 people. This may not be the most people I've ever done a show for but it at least makes for a fun show. I travel all the way out there and I learn the people in Phoenix don't know how to count. I traveled nearly 2500 miles to perform for a crowd of 12. Tweleve people and that includes the other comic, his friends and my family that lives in AZ. Now, I did have a nice time but I wish there would have been more people. And that's still not the worst part. I even had trouble with my hotel. The club put me up in what is usually a nice chain of hotels. Days Inn. I have stayed at a number of these in the past and have never had any real complaints but this one in Phoenix was horrible. I get there and my name is in the system. The girl gets my room and gives me the keys. "Room 121 Mr. Milton". So off the the room. Open the door...and the sheets are on the floor and trash is all over the place. So I pick up the phone and call the front desk. "I'm so sorry. We are having some computer problems. Come on back and we'll get you a different room". No problem. Get the new room. Room 129. Dirty. Try again. Room 168. Dirty. At this point I am ready to kill someone. I don't care how many times you say you're sorry. If you maids don't know how to clean a freakin room how the hell can you expect to stay in business. The fourth room was cleaned. I can't say that it was CLEAN but you could tell that an attempt was made. So, you see. Being a comedian on the road all the time does have it's issues just like any other job. Happy whatever the hell it is that you celebrate Mike Sunday, Dec 10th, 2006 WOW! I am lazy. I would first like to appoligize to all of my fans for not writing as often as I should. I have gotten a little lazy. So lazy that I got tired while peting my cat the other night. I have actually been very busy lately with both the new job and comedy. I have taken a little break from the city for the holidays to catch up on some much needed sleep. I have a show in Phoenix this next Sunday so if you are in the area it is on my calendar. Come on by. The online store is slowly coming together and should be working by the new year. So keep checking. I would like to promise to all of you that I will write more oftern but, like most of the promises that men make, it will probably be broken. I wil try though. I hope that all of you have a wonderful whatever holiday it is that you celibrate (and to any of my Jehovah's Witnesses I hope you have a December). Thanks again to all of you for being my fans and I will write again. Sunday, Nov. 5th, 2006 Moving Up! So, today I received some good news. Next week at my home comedy club in NYC, Ha!, I will be hosting two shows. This might not seem like a lot to some of you but it is. In the world of stand up comedy, anytime you get a paid spot in New York it is a stepping stone. Now I know that the next step from here isn't FAME but it is a good step in that direction. I hope that I can keep doing what I have been doing and continue to move forward with my career. I do feel very good. I had a great weekend with shows as well. On Saturday I did a benefit for the wonderful people of the volunteer fire dept of Hammonton, NJ. I am proud of the fact that I was able to do this well and I didn't get very dirty at all. I didn't even do the bit about my mom that she "loves" so much. (If you've seen my act or have my CD you know the bit I'm talking about). Also, in the mood of moving forward. I am working at getting my online store up and running. Give me about six weeks and you should be able to by a plethora (I love that word) of stuff. From CDs to T-Shirts and I'm sure other little nik-naks. Cheers everyone and keep laughing. Monday, Oct. 23rd, 2006 New Job: Day 1 Well, I made it though the first day of my new job and unfortunetly for all of you, Nothing happened. It was pretty boring actually. Oh well. I was able to book some shows for November and December though. All in all, the day was rather average. I finish work, went home and ate dinner and since I was felling tited I decided that I wasn't going to workout. Then as I was changing my clothes something caught my eye. In the mirror I saw the most grotesque image I have ever seen. Worse than anything I have seen in any horror movie. I saw myself...NAKED. What the hell have I done to myself? I don't know how any woman could stand to see that and still want to have sex with it. I didn't want to have sex with it. So I went to the gym. I feel a little bit better but I made the mistake of weighing myself while at the gym and I almost thew-up. I now weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. That is a humbling bit of information. My self esteem is gone. Maybe the reason I have gained all this weight is cause I'm living in some guys kichen. Well, the vagina took over and I am going to start a diet tomorrow and will be workingout more often now. Here's to looking sexy once again. Sunday, Oct. 22nd, 2006 New Job First of all, I would like to apologize for my slowness in getting new shit posted. It has been a little bit crazy. So, I have been "unemplyed" all weekend. Friday was the last day at my old job and tomorrow I start my new one. Starting a new job is alway an emotional rollercoaster for me. Especially when you willing quit a perfectly good job to do it. I am excited because it's something new, more money and more paid time off (which all struggling comics know is a HUGE thing). But, I'm nervous because what if I made the wrong move. What if the new jobs sucks even more ass than the previous one. If that's the case then the list of shitty moves I've made over the last couple of years will just continue to grow. Cause then not only will I be living in some guys kitchen, I'll have a really shitty job to go along with that. Let's hope for the best. If I remember (or am not too lazy) I will write another entry to this most amazing of blogs tomorrow with a recap of my first day at the new job. Wish me luck.

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